older lotr illustrations sometimes depict éowyn wearing ridiculously small armour. apart from the problem general sexualisation of the only female character (who really does anything), there’s another hilarious thought:
éowyn pretended to be dernhelm, a man. to fit in, she must have worn men’s armor. so the armor in the illustrations is normal for rohirrim.
therefore, all the rohirrim rode to war just like that:
there’s a thundering sound in the distance as the rohirrim ride into war but rather than hoofbeats it’s the collective sound of all their cheeks clapping
the artist for this particular piece is Frank Frazetta and to be fair to him this is how he drew the orcs armor
so the rohirrim comment is probably not that far off
That’s a man who just straight up had a problem with the concept of wearing pants into battle, and I respect that
male or female
hero or villain
sea or land
even in the snow
I guarantee you Frazetta’s Rohirrim were 100% pants-free
Good Old Frank. That man loved bodies and hated clothes so much
Frank Frazetta was the reason He-Man was designed like that; the producers conduct a study to see what art appeal the most to children, and Frank’s work came out on top in popularity. So everyone in He-Man is dressed the way they are directly because of Frazetta.
That man gave us the gift of warrior thighs and tits for everyone.
Ah, it has been too long since I have seen the no pants post on my dash. And yes, this is a rare case where it wasn’t some sexist nonsense but an egalitarian No Pants Agenda.
It’s time for my regular reblog of Gondor Needs No Pants
éowyn: “If I don’t get pants, nobody gets pants.”
…Pants or not, Frazetta did like him some nice butt. People have seen his Battlestar Galactica art, yeah?
…You also want to look closely at any of his art that has horses in it. You can spot a Frazetta right across a room if the horse’s butt has that look…
…And all that said: gods love him, he did fabulous work.
there has never been a person in this world who loved ass more than Frazetta loved ass
On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:
You’re an idiot.
Let me further explain:
Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.
Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.
When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.
And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:
Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.
Nope.
My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.
You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.
And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.
What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.
I just want a burrito.
In conclusion:
You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.
UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:
A fucking fork?
I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.
If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.
That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.
Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.
A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.
If Cyerce nigricans is a butterfly, then this is a fairy… Cyerce nigricans for comparison:
I find it funny whenever i make a sea slug post that gets more notes than expected, like. Yeah, I’m winning at the webbed site (<- made these posts in a sea slug obsessive haze. No one could have seen them and I still would have kept going. It’s my enrichment)
Been reminded of our messy financizl situation. Would be easier if they spoke to me about it.
But mostly it make me sad.
Because dad’s trying all his life to be a good man. He is a lawyier who defend worker rights, his prices have never been that high because he want to help, for most of my life he came back really late on mondays because he was working for free in the evening with an association.
He’s regularly taken advantage of, people not paying, calling him at night for stuff you’re supposed to pay for and not paying, he spend all his tome working.
And he does not even love it, he dislike it, he’s been wishing for retirement for more than 15 years.
And even worse, he’s GOOD at his job, he’s a very good lawyer. Yet we are in danger because we don’t have money, we got debts and were only saved from the street by his illness, but he did not even get sick pay, this is all unfair and a mess and it’s stressing me out.
And i’m scared. Because i don’t know what to expect all i know is that we are not safe and it’s scary and no one tell me anything
It’s just so scary and i should be happy that we finally are going to eat at a restaurant together as a birthday gift but i’m just even more stressed because mom say the money is really bad and that we may not have the occasion for a long long time if we don’t now and it mean that it’s really bad right
She say we barely have any money left and i’m scared because i don’t know what to expect and whatvit mean
Okay someone asked me earlier “Hey CT, you study the occult for a living, off the top of your head, what’s the most popular form of the occult in today’s world?”
Pseudo-nutrition. Bar none. A massive amount of the fad dieting world goes beyond simple misinformation and ignorance and full on into a systemized non-scientific theory of anatomy and nutrition that 100% qualifies as magic. If you replace the term “toxins” with “evil ghosts” half of these blogs would sound like sumerian curse tablets.
